Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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