tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
