he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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