I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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