I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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