I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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