I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
