Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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