how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
