I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
