either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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