MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
