It's just like the Real World with babies
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Everyone says I win the strip club
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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