I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
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alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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