we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am available for nakedness
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
