Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
