you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
