Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
