my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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