Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
