Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
