my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
