I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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