dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
