The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
