dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
