On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
