So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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