Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
where are my eyebrows?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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