So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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