You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
