Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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