Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The beer is more important than you right now.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
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