it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
