I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
