Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
