its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
