Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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