Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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