No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
