I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
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You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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