Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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