fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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