i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
