he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
