singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
