Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
