I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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