There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
