somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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