I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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