he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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