Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
