Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
