I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
