Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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