just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
How naked do you want me to be?
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