My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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