My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
