found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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