Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
