i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Gay?
German.
Pity.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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