yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
